1. From Karen Walters - sent on April 24, 2018 Dear Family & Friends, We received devastating news last week. Kim's tumor has returned with a fury despite his early response to chemotherapy treatments. He will be starting a different type of treatment this week, but because of the almost total involvement of his liver, it will give him more months, not years.
Weeks ago, a dear friend suggested planning a "celebration of life" now, while Kim could enjoy a "roast" and affirming shout outs. I told Kim we all had our stories and moments to share about his quick wit and wry sense of humor, if not his fashion sense, passion for space, famous "speculations," book on pancakes, and just being a VOL, etc. :) Above all, he is a kind, gentle, intelligent soul and a great friend. He is my best friend. At first, Kim responded "no" to the idea, but wanted time to think about it. The time is now.
So I humbly ask that you share your stories, anecdotes, moments, and memories with him in writing. Please send them in whatever form is easiest for you (electronically or by snail mail). I am technologically-challenged, but I'm sure Addie or Marshall will help me if you use other forms of communication. I know he keeps in touch with long-distance family and friends by phone. Thank you for being there for him. It's difficult to put a conversation in writing, but I'd love to have some snapshots of those conversations for him to reflect on. Think of good times and laughter and friendship.
My intent is to let him realize the spectrum of family and friends that hold him close to their hearts and smiles. Thank you for being a part of his life, and for taking the time to express your friendship. A thousand quotes come to mind, but I'll share this one. Take care. Love to you and yours. --karen
"Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value." --Albert Einstein
2. From Karen Walters - sent on May 7, 2018
Dear Family & Friends, Words cannot begin to express how overwhelmed we've been with your response through notes, visits, stories, and memories yet to come. It's been a roller coaster of a week, and I feel compelled to update you on Kim's situation. It was determined last Monday that his liver could not tolerate any further treatment (as previously planned for Thursday). So Kim was put on hospice care.
Our daughter Addie, who was planning an October wedding, powered through the process and got married on Thursday, May 3. She wanted her dad to walk her down the aisle, to have the first dance with him. Attached are several photos that captured the afternoon. Kim chose Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul McCartney to dance with Adde. It was the most amazing afternoon I may ever experience.
The hospice nurse made her first visit last Friday. We feel in incredibly good hands with immeasurable resources and support.
Many of you have asked about contacting Kim by phone (650-269-9817). Please call whenever you can. He would love to hear your voice. If he is asleep, or visiting friends, or busy with hospice, he may not be able to immediately answer. Please leave a message. He doesn't always recognize or have your phone number so it would be great to know who called. He will try to call you back as soon as he can.
Please continue to send your stories and sentiments in writing. Our kids enjoy reading about their dad's mischievous antics, playlists, and philosophies on life. Thanks again for your support. Take care, karen
"Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value." --Albert Einstein
3. From Steve Yuen- received on May 23, 2018
It had been 25 years since I'd been inside Kim and Karen's house in Palo Alto. A redwood tree that is surrounded by rich shrubbery and terms dominates the normal-size front yard. The front door is only a few feet from the street, yet as rang the doorbell, it was tranquil and dark.
Waiting a minute or two, I rang the doorbell again and finally knocked (Marshall told me later the doorbell wasn't working - hey, I'm familiar with that situation). Karen opened the door, just as pretty as she was 25 years ago when I last saw her in person. Being married to Kim was completely without stress, I suppose; his relaxed Tennessee charm was his true self, not just a public person.
Three large dogs leapt and barked as walked in. I eyed them warily as I took off my shoes. Don't be afraid of them, said Karen. I'm worried they're going to eat my shoes. They won't go in front of the gate, she said. The size of the dogs relative to the thinness of the metal bars didn't provide such reassurance. Oh well, need to get a new pair of loafers anyway.
Kim lay on a hospital bed in the living room. He was thinner than when Bill Brown and I last saw him for lunch (the Refuge in Menlo Park on March 29th). Eyes closed, he was breathing slowly and didn't respond when I said hello.
Marshall and Hana entered from the hallway. We greeted each other in hushed tones, as people do in the presence of the very sick though they can't hear us.
Karen rubbed his hand, as did I. Again, no response.
Say what you were to say anyway, she said.
I thanked him for being an excellent golf partner, for introducing me to high-end whiskey and the Lexus brand (our Toyota family leased its first "luxury car" in 2015). I thanked him for asking me to join him in his Umbra start-up and all the great business lunches we had in Fremont. And I did learn a lot about creating iPad apps.
Kim curled his upper lip slightly. "He made a face." Karen said, but there was no other movement, just his breathing.
Karen left the room to make a call to the hospice nurse, and Marshall sat by Kim's side. Marshall, who is a licensed EMT, suddenly looked concerned. Hana rubbed Marshall's shoulders in an effort to comfort him. Karen came back and held Kim's hand.
I asked her permission to say a prayer.
From the Book of Common Prayer:
A Prayer for a Person near Death Almighty God, look on this your servant, lying in great weakness, and comfort him with the promise of life everlasting, given in the resurrection of your Son Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen
From the Litany at Time of Death Deliver your servant, Kim, O Sovereign Lord Christ, from all evil, and set him free from every bond; that he may rest with all your saints in the eternal habitations; where with the Father and the Holy Spirit you live and reign, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.
I joined everyone in weeping quietly. I look at my watch. It was 10:39 a.m.
I sat on the chair and looked around the room. The dogs and cats lay very still, no longer boisterous or even upright. Do animals know what's going on? You could not convince me otherwise.
Addie came to the front door. It was time to leave. I touched Kim's arm for the last time. I hugged Karen, then Addie whom I had seen since she was a little girl.
I slipped on my shoes, which were mercifully intact, and let myself out.
Driving to Foster City, I didn't feel like going home right away. I sat on a bench near the Bay. It was low tide on a cloudy day. Godspeed, my friend.